:: what title ::

:: Tuesday, July 01, 2003 ::

aaaargh.
im gettin attacked by mosquitos man..so hot..haiz,i was just thinkin about pris again.*sigh* she didn't email me for so long.she didn't even bother to call.i bet we wouldn't have stayed in contact if i didn't keep callin/communicatin..like she doesn't care balls.like she doesnt bloody care.

went out w/ rozi jus now..told her abt dominic n all..it's damn hard man..i don't wanna start liking him..n even IF he did like me,it'll be damn weird in cat.class.it'll be awkward cos we're all friends there..oh yes,on e topic of friends..malay class was quiet today becos ret,di n mai apparently forgot they told me they would see me in class n left me alone.whats new,many ppl seem to be leavin me nowadays..not a big deal,just thought they would be courteous nuf to tell me.i felt so weird ard them the whole day.maybe its cos todae was ncc/saf day..but pretendin a non-ncc friend didn't exist wasn't exactly a nice thing.

back to dominic..thinkin abt him makes me feel happy.like when i watch interior design shows..or when im reading..o baad one.
i feel like havin fish n co balls..kk im gona go now.signin off with a sad heart today.
word of caution for all out there;be careful who you trust if you're feeling particularly vunerable today.

no peace,im out
krystle eva -85-
:: krys Tuesday, July 01, 2003 [+] ::
...

hey..
i din go skool today..(hahaa what's new!) ahh..told dad to wake me up at 6 cos i din even pack my bag but at 6.35 or so..i find myself still lying in bed.i have e sneakiest suspiscion(why does that spelling look wrong) he didn't even try to wake me..anyway,i dont mean to blame him..i noe i din wanna go back to skool today.plus,last nights' consumption of teh-o led to me fallin asleep w/ too much difficulties..

downloading songs again..ahh,so hard to find that bootsie collins song!!dammit.i cried so much yest night..i guess pris really was my first love..its very hard lettin go of us.i think she's already on e road to turnin straight..im very happy for her la.but it wld be a lie to say i felt nothin for her anymore..i don't know..i was thinkin abt dominic last night too..i cant even remember what it was like when there was no one in my 'love life'..it was like straight after jc,there was pris..n den now..haiz..im not countin all e small things like brian,darren n gabs..i just wish i had answers..i think what i need is a holiday n lots of chocolate..

pris..i keep remembering all e gd times w/ her..ahh.i best stop now..brooding over e past.i can only go forward from here right..think i gtg now...til e next entry friend.

peace,im out
krsytle eva -85-




:: krys Monday, June 30, 2003 [+] ::
...

sup..

listenin to 'not meant for me' by static-x..funny really..i remember e title cos las time i went to stellz place n heard the ost..nice song it is.e best part?i recently realised pris quoted it in one of her emails to me..o well.it would have been our 9mths today.i do miss her.but there's other shit goin on.im leadin jac on right?stupid question krystle.i feel so caught in e middle but at the same time i think i sub-conciously willed myself into this crap.i always criticise the weak-willed yet my self-control has the strength of japanese tofu.

had a conversation with ma abt God.we really have such different views and the easiest thing for me wld be to judge her.yet,i try to remember that it wasn't their fault that their generation was brought up in a society w/ that sort of mentality.*sighs* im still learnin from all those ppl hu alredy got confirmed.i guess im tryin to find a role model or someone with answers abt how to act like or be like after confirmation..but maybe i won't find someone cos each person has a different mission after confirmation.maybe that's it.and i talked to sarah.gosh i really felt so relieved after tt..she's a great friend that one.great friend.

huh.parents haven't really mentioned e aussie migration since that day.went out w/ mich n jac todae n mich was like tellin me how she doen't wanna give me a farewell card anytime soon..dun wery girl,ya dun have to.unless i die tomorrow la.

sunday.know what that means?i saw gabs n dominic.gabriel changed his hairstyle(and thank heavens fer that!)while i found out dominic is indonesian.and...he used to like gillian lange.haaaaiz.this sounds ridiculous.my heart felt heavy after that man.u noe..i haven't felt anythin like this since..pris..brian?jeremy?hah!all tt "feelings"...i just look at him(dom) n my insides are too squirmish..gabs is just a fun cuci mata thing.just to keep me occupied.but dominic?man..this is bad.i dont wanna end up fallin too hard too fast.look where that found me the last time..he's such a little softie.i don't really know what to do.maybe this is a mere obsession cos im stressed/bored.but really..he doesn't come for mass.i saw him talkin to dawn for dunno how long.heard he is tryin to find out more abt e youth council.well,well,well.what a coincidence..so was i!no really..really..if not den i might do that drama thing..crystal is interested in that too...duno la see how.

i wonder if pris even thinks about me at times like these..i always think of her on cold nights like this..especially since it wld haf been our 9mths..o wait,i said that alredy.*krystle stops typin n stares out into e night sky for a while..* hmm.starless.i'm scared of facin this journey ahead of me alone.maybe i do wanna go to aussie.i might think i can escape frm this whole lesbian bullshit.or maybe the fact that i am fallin for dominic.it's so stupid!i can't ever have a light-hearted crush u noe..always gotta turn it into somethin so fuckin serious that i get really hurt.i felt so funny during mass today..not as in i was a life-size joke la..just..weird.wtf is happenin to everythin..to me?

skool starts tm..i gtg alredy cos its late..n cos my milo is waitin on e dining table.farewell,shall up date ya another time..ciao.

peace,im out
krystle eva -85-
:: krys Monday, June 30, 2003 [+] ::
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