:: what title ::

:: Tuesday, July 10, 2007 ::

Come and rest your bones with me, driving slow on sunday morning. I never want to leave.

I love this song, it makes me think of endless roads and possibilities alike. Like my future is filled with great adventures ripe for the plucking. It's an excitement growing in my belly.

So many new things happening around me that sometimes I feel like a newborn. New people, new smells, I am always caught off guard at how little things can take my breath away. A smile, home-cooked food, photos of days gone by.

Uni life is ahead of me and though i'd like to take on a carefree approach towards it all, I'm nervous. And I'm proud. To have made it this far. To be honest, I don't think this will be the end. Maybe Nan wasn't just telling tall tales when she talked about me moving away. I'm really hoping to get some sense of direction for what I'm gg to do the rest of my life.

Already this new chapter has begun settling itself into my otherwise quiet and uneventful life. Camps, about 3 in a month to be exact. Study trips and assignments looming ahead. How is it that I'm already here. It's a feeling of me not even remembering how I got here, like everything before this is blurry.

My chapter with James has closed and we've both reopened new ones with other people. I'm proud of him. Is it really true that one can be good friends with an ex? I'm starting to realise my friends and far and few. Sarah told me she was back from Hawaii and I felt smthg inside me pop. She's one of the few ppl I can really connect to so I hope that hasn't changed.

And there's Gwen. who has all but turned my life on its head and shaken its contents all over the floor. Lovingly... hahaa, it's crazy. There is so much of my past I want her to see and experience, with me.. but it's funny, because that person isn't me anymore.. or is it?

Quitting my job has been one great relief. I was beginning to feel bogged down with so many things to handle. Maybe my prob is that I don't reach out to the people that really care. I think I'm just picky with friends, the same way I am with vegetables. Kangkong, pass. Carrots, no pass.

My greatest challenge at the moment is redecorating my room. Hey it's a big thing for me alright. I have this whole idea of what it was supposed to look like but things have changed and the original idea's been tweaked here n there. Can't wait to put in the new bed with the paint done up. and my cosy little lamp n blinds. We should all be so pleased...

Question, is there an alternative to travelling, getting away from it all and escaping into one's own place without ever leaving the country? I'm in dire need of a quick fix for several reasons.

An extract from this mth's copy of fictatious music mag, C*I*T*E...

Hi Special K and band! It's such an honor to meet you, I've been listening to your music since you guys started!

Really now.. I highly doubt that. You look no older than the average teenie bopper which makes you about 16. We have been around since the 70s. Which means you're either LYING or your anti aging cream really works... what brand may I ask?

(Nervous laughter)So what's your fav movie at the moment?

Prison Break definitely! and I'm quite a fan of House and his cynical ways... (rest cheer for the reruns of seinfield)

What do you think is the ultimate fashion must have this season?

Oooh tough one. I'd have to say a draw between high waisted black jeans and ankle boots. Low rise is hot but bum cracks are not. and I love the Grease vibe those type of jeans channel. The boots are versatile and practical especially here for local weather. Plus, thigh high fuck me boots are so passe. And they get sticky inside...

OKAY... how do you feel about Paris getting special priviledges in prison?

What?! She's gone to jail, but that little pink thing's a saint!

Great! this year has seen quite a few come back albums from artists. Which one gets your vote?

Do your homework! first line, Maroon 5. Definitely 'It wont be soon before long.'
you know, we dont do promos for other bands but M5 has retained its edge and funk, witha little JK thrown in to the mix. And they have feelgoodgetovertheex and feelgoodiminlove songs. It's the best album from them yet. and Adam is SCORCHIIIIN!

Ah, yes. Thanks for your time and enjoy the rest of your visit!

Hmm. do you happen to have some kacang?

-Special K and her band have withdrawn all insensitive statements made at the time of interview on the basis that they were drunk on vodka. they are currently continuing their papua new guinea leg of their tour, Special K, with extra milk. Catch their latest single,'shake it til you make it' in stores now.
:: krys Tuesday, July 10, 2007 [+] ::
...

emptiness: the state of containing nothing.

i see hell in your eyes.
take it in by surprise.
touching you makes me feel alive.
touching you makes me die inside.

maybe the most intimate thing i can ever have with anyone is friendship. friendship. that ten-letter f-word. complicates sex and everything else. friends are what binds us to the life outside of our family. they are our coccoon which we so often return to, for safety and comfort.

i'll tell you what i reeeally want to do this 'holiday.' i want to keep the promise i made to myself and mom 9 years ago. i want to be a neater, kinder person. i want to clean up the junk in my room, discard old things. get rid of clothes i haven't used in the past six months cos i'll probably not be using them in the next six.

i'd like to be more body-confident and not gasp at words like cellulite and full cream. this may make me fatter but happier. (contented sigh)

and possibly save some money. now this item may prove to be a challenge, seeing that my lamb bank funds are dwindling at a dangerous rate. (faster that you can say kosong) but honestly, with less than a year to graduation.. AND, my eagerness to start independant trip 2007 to thailand. it will be my first time there, oooh. virgin.

but hey, mai pen rai!

euphoria: a feeling of well-being or elation; may be drug related.

to most people, gossip would be the most natural topic of discussion at luncheons and reunions. i'd like to be able to meet people after many years and share with them my dreams. not like, lifetime ambitions, we'll do that after a few drinks cos they always sound more possible then. no, like just the dreams you have at night. or, if you're the lazy kind, the ones you have during the stolen afternoon cat nap.

i am so sure i dreamt i was a super hero last night. and no, it served no purpose such as to boost my ego. i wasn't doing anything like saving the world or rescuing little kittens from trees. i was in superhero school. it was flying classes off an island that greatly resembled daytime Corfu. i quite enjoyed the class. (or at least my subconciousness did)

and then, i was this semi-being. like lord voldermort in his hilarious plasma state. and i was talking to these two american tai tais about their kids who were in my class.

it was pretty exciting, almost as good as my M.C Esher dream.

back to my main point. see, i don't think i can really tell anyone such random things. like when you meet someone in a club, i doubt they want to hear about a dream i had last night, no matter how many marshmallow men or flying tea cups it involved.

well, i'll have to be hopeful that there is a group of people out there just like me. the thought comforts me...

what i enjoy buying
1. bags. in all shapes and colors. just in case.
2. panties, a girl honestly can't have enough.
3. literature. the last book i bought was by sarah waters. geez i never knew prison cells and lesbian lovers were so mundane.
4. gifts. items i think are beautiful or fancy. i'll buy them. think of it as investments for the future with a poor ROI.

krys
:: krys Wednesday, June 14, 2006 [+] ::
...

A Poet has to fall in love to write.
Her bed is heaped with papers, or with men. -Erica Jong

and so my friends, how strange the story of infidelity. of betrayal. or is it all truth.

the fringe before me hides more than tired eyes, they hide the excitement and weariness of not knowing what comes next. it's a special time for me now, new opportunities and many changes. some of which i will grow from, others nothing but hindrance aye.

while i could be building on my strengths and making contacts, am i happy. then, there's always the option of going back to what i love and getting paid what might be of slightly higher value than floating dandelions.

I dunno, maybe everything is of some significance. like this calf cramp i'm having right now. all this activity around me is of substance and isn't a big cosmic joke.

possible.. possible..

my hair keeps curling.

i reckon it's time to get started on my to-do list. that means more exercise. or any exercise for that matter. and less sugar, i have weak gums and don't appreciate having bluff teeth before 40.

A List of Interesting Facts and Tips to Entertain You in Mundane Moments:

1. our brains have special neurons that help us find each other's lips in the dark
2. advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't
3. remove bee stings by scraping sideways with your fingernail or the edge of a knife
4. use yellowish concealer to cover up redness
5. the only person who critiques your body more than you is your mother

cheerios,
Krys
:: krys Friday, May 26, 2006 [+] ::
...

strange thing, time.

it weighs most on those who have it least.

things that i have learned to appreciate in life: Milo and all its comforts, the joy of having school holidays, friends.

sometimes, it's hard to verbally explain to people my feelings or thoughts. it's like this bubble, i intentionally put myself into predicaments. same thing with deadlines. tutor A is right. as is the majority of my family. i put too much on my plate and stress when i can't digest it all in one sitting.

not fun, this weather. humid, wet. the heat makes me feel like some kind of dried pickle. constantly lethargic and aggressive towards anyone who so much as knocks into me at the lift.

i have nothing else to say...
:: krys Friday, May 19, 2006 [+] ::
...

tired.
physically drained.
i'm sick of household chores and need to cut my hair.

wishing i had a manuscript for life. still not over my obsessions with clothes cos today (yep, you guessed it, i bought more! but that's okay. i've cleaned out my wardrobe and ther'es a lot of stuff i decided to throw out. stuff even nan would wear. although, there are slacks of vivid colors that i do approve of.

watched underworld revolution today. it was wicked aye. thinking of nachos now. we didn't have them cos lunch was so fucking heavy. oh well, next time.

shoulders are aching pretty badly. maybe that massage course is something i should be looking to ASAP. hmmm. to be pondered upon.

i need someone to break the silence and get me out of these stupid dreams. castle stories and skinny dipping. horny professors and necks with cologne. ballet pumps and bangs. andro clothes and head aches.

next week is gonna be busy. i best start planning for Independant Holiday 2006. to melbourne and perth it is! awoogah.
:: krys Friday, March 03, 2006 [+] ::
...

days swiftly come and go
im dreaming of her
she's seeing other guys
emotions they stir.

well,

tis the start of a long-awaited break. it's a funny feeling, holidays. you get this twitching little feeling in your fingers and toes. accumulated excitement over the past months to do all the things i've wanted to. for so long. went to ikea and had svedish food. went to the ching chong shop and bought white shoes. got a roll of film developed. got into an emotional predicament. yep! that's about my checklist.

yest, me and gwen went to bugis and i found my eternity moment for 105 bucks! it's even cheaper than the shop at tampines. and i have to get started on customizing those shoes... hmmm...

mothers have this strange ability of sensing a sticky floor even when they aren't. oh, and early morning wake-ups. i haven't stayed in bed past 9am for the past 4 months. yest, my body just would not register it was being given an off-day. do fuck-all you know? laze a bit, stay in bed til like 2pm and not wash my hair. but know, mom starts shouting at siblings about seemingly important issues like underwear and potted plants. random la that woman.

dreamt i was a ktv lounge hostess. it was so strange, i was wearing this 70s psychedelic outfit with neon lights overhead and really weird music. me gwen and stelliyah went for a smoke at east coast after that, along with this old man none of us knew.... suddenly feel like going to the gym. maybe i should. gaining weight is not so fun when you're not some kind of tellytubby.

although (me and a friend had a debate on this), a television embedded in your gut could prove to be quite useful. apart from the inevitable electrical shocks and infections, definitely a niche market to look into.

all i want right now is a proper back massage. and to find that bloody mp3 player cable. life would be good then. maybe i'll go to parkway and visit andrew. high time for some fuckin good literature aye. i read the oxford book of essays and realize poms are boring. hahaa!

question(s) of the week:

1. what is the one thing you'd want to bring with you to the afterlife
2. how much blood can you give away before passing out
3. what is the actual use of a tonsil

cheerios,
the mountain tortoise
:: krys Saturday, February 25, 2006 [+] ::
...

i'm looking up into the sky and the starrs, they tell me nothing...

why is it there is so much noise when no one is at home? creepy. tis my overreactive imagination yet again. today, i feel young. i feel vulnerable. it's like, i'm seeking all these homely comforts. warm milo. i had 2 yakults and feel about 3 years old. all i need is a comforter and spice girls ballads.

seriously, how do you slow your blood after the body rush? this is one huge soap opera, my life. i need to get a bloody job as soon as exams are over. get my mind off shit y'know. i'm still a bit bitter about having to miss the Oasis concert. there are many things i'd like to say to you but i don't know how.

okay, i should probably get back to work. this was supposed to be a mini divergence of studying. not the story of my week.

and after all, you're my wonderwall.

Every writer is a narcissist. This does not mean that he is vain it only means that he is hopelessly self-absorbed. - Leo Rosten

krys

:: krys Tuesday, February 14, 2006 [+] ::
...